It's in times of extreme sorrow and depression that I turn to my two sources of comfort, my binded copy of King James' Bible and the words of Lil' Mama. Since Michael Jackson's death I've been desperately flipping through the good book looking for the verse or psalm that could soothe my soul and dry my tears and help me to understand why God would do this to us but to no avail.
Then just when I thought I was out of luck mega-celebrity Lil' Mama had to chance to say what I think has been on everyone's mind since the death of the King of Pop: this is just like that time that Jesus died.
I know, I know, it's insulting to the memory of Michael Jackson to compare him to someone as low as Jesus Christ, but what other comparisons are there? Lil' Mama was just trying to do what she does best and comfort the billions of people ready to leap from their rooftops because they've lost the will to go on.
Because, you know, "the story that they gave of that man [Jesus], he touched so many people and healed people, and Michael Jackson did the same thing, not only with his music but with his performance and his personality."
If I had a dollar for every time I heard of Michael Jackson turning water into wine and healing the sick and walking on water I'd be a rich rich man, and we shouldn't despair anymore because now we know that obviously he can just rise from the dead on Easter. And he certainly touched people. Many, many people. Thank you Lil' Mama.
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